Tryst with Negativity

Good morning posts, inspirational quotes, pages designed to upload poems and motivational messages only....Every social media platform, so many you tube videos, lot of people in real life too seem to be almost bombarding positive messages on us. Yet the inspirational / motivational messages/ talk funda never gets absolate. Clearly we all keep looking for some motivation, atleast an iota of inspiration to keep moving forward.

But as Rumi says anything in excess is poison...
And unfortunately I have started observing, feeling that this too much emphasis on staying positive is becoming poison for us. How? I will explain.

In the era of being positive, we have started fearing the acceptance and expression of negative emotions. Every Guru, every book, all insta field shout out about how to remain positive  in worst situations, how to stay motivated all the time, how to not give heed to negativity which may keep creeping in from time to time and how people who could do this have achieved great things in life. We strive to achieve these unrealistic standards, we strive and we fail. Once we do the situation is worsened because there is an additional guilt that we are not able to do what we are 'supposed' to and what millions are doing to make their lives better.

So if you are not that omni-positive miraculous person and feel bad about it, let me tell you at the outset that, it is ok to feel negative at times, it is ok to feel sad, upset, depressed. It is fine to feel hopeless for a little while. And it is absolutely human to not to feel happy and positive at all times.

When I am feeling sad, upset, negative and instead of validating my feelings, I say to myself, 'shhhh you aint supposed to feel this! Come on lets stay positive, yeah!', I suppress my emotions. I don't give them due importance, I trivialize them and blame myself for having experienced them at first place. Seems like that famous shallow advice,  'Hey cheer up there is nothing like depression!' Outrageous isnt it?

Is it bad to strive for more optimistic approach towards life? Ofcourse not! But the path of being postive and hopeful person invariably goes through the experience of some negativity. In order to feel optimistic and positive I first need to validate my feelings, accept them without any judgement, have some rendezvous with them and then think about dealing with them, searching for solutions etc. Listen to that sad frightened 'negative' whisper, go near it, comfort it, understand it's roots, it's depth...just like you would comfort a little frightened child. The secret is not to suffocate, but to understand it. Honestly, according to me, that is the only secret!

There is some miracle about acceptance. When I accept my feelings I immediately begin to feel better, when I accept my behaviors non judgementally I begin to change, when I accept others unconditionally, they start experiencing greater peace and confidence in themselves.

So lets not dive into the dark pool of positive thinking, but first understand the game of emotions and change.